As the sun finally sets to what seems to be the most trying year of our recent lives. One can’t help but wonder, what was the outcome to all of this? When I compare myself to the person I was a year ago, someone filled with an almost soft naïveté and a lot of thanklessness. This year has had everything, we took ‘expect the unexpected’ a little too seriously this time. With so much that has gone on, I feel like one review will not be enough. Nonetheless, here is me trying to do justice, to my own experiences.
Phase One – Clueless Children
This year, I dare say, personally started off with a bang for me. Should’ve been my first clue as to what the year had in store.
I remember talking about the Coronavirus with my friends and family like a distant phenomenon. The virus, that supposedly spread because some guy in China ate a bat, was so far fetched, that it seemed impossible to fathom. So far away, that we weren’t even scared.
We all thought it’ll stay there, in China, a land far off. Practically landlocked. How hard could it be to stay that way, right? It shouldn’t bother us, so we’ll go on with our lives. Making memes and laughing at them. Soon, COVID-19 will be a distant memory.
When you are young, they assume you know nothing.
Phase Two – Distance, in this World, is not an Issue
They closed schools, for two weeks. Not that big of a deal, I needed a break anyway. Not like I was prepared for my midterms. By a long shot, even.
Acha hua yeh doh hafton ki chutti mil gaye, aap ki behn ab semester mein aag lagaye gi – it’s a good thing we got these two weeks off, now I will set the semester on fire.
Little did I know, the semester was actually going to be set on fire, we were in hell.
Turns out, in a world where technology has come so far, and borders begin to blur. The concept of something spreading from country to country is not that hard to fathom.
The virus was spreading, and fast. Day by day, it was getting a little too close to home for me. It was near my house, it was near my friends, it was near my family.
It was my friends and family.
What do I do now? When will this end?
I got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Phase Three – What We Gained
The human mind is interesting. Strange how when we finally have time to compile our thoughts, our knee jerk reaction is to bake banana bread.
I, for one, experimented with a lot of hobbies and recipes. Multiple tries later I have safely come to the conclusion, that cooking is not for me. You name it, I’ve burnt it.
However, I indulged in other hobbies. Like waking up for the sunrise and having a daily photoshoot.
*Insert camera gallery here*
I finally got around to penning down my thoughts, which eventually led me to be a writer and editor at IBA Today. And where would the world be without my articles? *Insert shameless self-promo*.
Most importantly, I learned to be grateful. Of every hug, of every handshake, of every family member, of every friend, of every Mighty Zinger from KFC. It seemed, being away from the most basic of things, made me realise they weren’t really basic. There is comfort in the discomfort.
Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.
Phase Four – What We Lost
Everything. I lost so much. The family, the friends, the passion, the hope, the childish carelessness.
Every day you would wake up to some sad news, to the point that you became desensitised to it. I can no longer count the number of times I have written ‘To Him we belong and to Him we return’ in Arabic and said a little prayer. Maybe, that’s not okay.
Therefore, to everyone we have lost along the way, I pray we remember you, and do you proud.
To all the lost moments, the what-should-have-been’s. I’m truly sorry, so many high hopes for this year, all lost. The concerts I should have attended, the weddings I should have gone too, the hangouts I should have been a part of. I remember them all, and they remain there somewhere in the back of my mind, etched into it like scars.
Got no anger, got no malice. Just a little bit of regret
Phase Five – What we Learnt, a Year in Review
It’s been hard. You knew that, before coming to this article, you probably read some parts of this semi-personal essay and related to it. Now the question is, what now?
I always believe you learn with experiences. So what have I learnt?
I’ve learnt to be grateful, to remember everyone I love. Life is too short to hold grudges, and spend time with people you don’t want to.
I’ve also learnt to be more outgoing, be more social. So when it’s safe, I will go to that concert, to that restaurant, spend time with that friend.
Moreover, most importantly, I’ve learnt, that maybe we’re not all that bad. In a world where everything seemed lost. There were times when I was surprised with how understanding people were, how self-sacrificing some of us can be. How there is light at the end of the tunnel.
People are willing to give you their homes, their beds, their money, their blood. For you. So you could make it home safe that day, so you could get to see your bed-ridden parent one last time.
People are good, please believe in people.
If the world was ending, you’d come over, right? Right?
Cover picture courtesy; Tamseel Mubarik
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