Survival is such a strong word. It carries so much weight to it. But it also carries a beautiful diversity. All of us are survivors in our own right. Whether we’ve survived open battles or personal ones, there is a little fight in all of us. Whether the fight is with an old foe, or with yourself. No matter how big or small, your fight will always matter.
What helps one survive is guidance and helpful tips, a map of sorts. Over the last three years at IBA, I’ve had a multitude of experiences that have helped me survive, semester after semester, event after event, failure after failure. I learned them as I went. Kept the lessons safe with me, in hopes that maybe I could help someone else when the time came.
Here below, is a map, a series of things I wish I knew as a freshman. So that when the time came upon me, I knew there was a way out. That the map would help me get home safe. I hope this helps you, even if you’re not a freshman. Even if you’re in your 8th semester, ready to embark on the “real world” I still hope I can be of some service. A letter, from me to you, one I hope you will keep safe.
Yeh Waqt Bhi Guzar Jaye Ga
You need to know that you will get through this. Yes, this semester is bad, but you were built for this. You have the smarts and the resources to get through the hardships of that course, from that instructor. Maybe you’ll fail, maybe you’ll drop the course. But you will survive, and you will get to the other side, in one piece. Sometimes, actually no, all the times, that is the only thing that matters.
When you are at the lowest of the lows, on a time crunch at 3 am trying very desperately to complete that final term project. When you’ve sat in front of the laptop for so long that even the technology is starting to fail you. When it’s one of those nights when it finally hits you “damn, I’m in university”.
We’ve all been there, hopeless and legitimately scared. Seemingly alone in a house where there is someone in every room. Awake for the longest time, but sleep is nowhere to be found. Please know that you need to just get through that night, those final time crunch hours. Then you’ll be okay.
I can’t promise you that those mid-day breakdowns are worth it, or even productive. But they are necessary, a way for your body to tell you what you already know. That you are overworked and under-rested. Even though it may seem that you don’t even have the time to breathe. Please do. Or power through. Get through those last few hours. Then you’ll be fine, like a band-aid that has finally been ripped out. Everything will fall into place.
You Need Friends
My friends have been my saving grace for more times than I can count. Whether it’s being there for those 3 AM life crises (that they sometimes cause). Or being there for me when I need to reach a project deadline. Or saying that I can come to them for any help I need, for a course in a field that they have 0 knowledge of. Or whether it’s sending me good songs to power through those late nights. Or simply, just for being there.
Your friends are important. I’m glad to have collected the ones I have over the time I’ve spent here. I go to each one for a separate issue, depending on their niche. I go to one for advice, and another for a good time, life is about balance. Even though when your battles are meant to be fought alone, having people on the side, who are fighting their own battles, is comforting. And I don’t know about you, but the friends who I’ve breakdowns with, are the ones I intend to keep.
Whether those breakdowns have happened in Breakout 10 (fun times) or virtual zoom sessions, I hold those moments with me safe. It’s a realization of when you understand, that if I’m going down, then at least we’re all going down together.
Sometimes Survival Means Quitting
It’s admirable that you’ve made it this far. Almost poetic. The trick to surviving that no one wants you to know, is knowing when to quit. I know all the “Never Give Up” posters in your local gym say otherwise. But you need to know when to stop, there is no shame in admitting defeat and withdrawing yourself from the situation. It could be for whatever reason.
Maybe it was too much, maybe you had better stuff to do, maybe your values weren’t aligned the same way, maybe you changed, maybe they changed. Maybe it was all of the above. There is no shame in quitting, as long as you know why. As long as you learned something, even if it was your limits, especially then.
You’ve made it this far, it’s impressive. You are impressive.
