As children, most of us saw growing up as the ticket to freedom and liberty. Making our own decisions, being able to explore alone and not being monitored felt all too tempting. I would sit for hours and day-dream about my grown up version. What will she look like? Will she drive herself to places and shop for her cozy apartment, where she’ll live alone? Mesmerized by the idea of this future self and drowned in my childlike innocence, I overlooked the struggle that would come along with growing up. Fast forward to 10 years later. I still think about growing up. Only this time, it doesn’t excite me. Rather, it daunts me.
The transition (growing up)
If I was to define childhood, I would call it living in a protected bubble where we were exposed to this sugar-coated version of life and the world. Inside this bubble, everything came easy. Friendships were about sharing your lunch during class breaks, family gatherings were comforting but also tiring (because of all the running around the house) and your parents were happy people. Waking up early for school and staying up late on an exam night were the most trying times – the only trying times.
I can’t tell when and how all of that changes. But suddenly the bubble pops and you are shadowed by dark clouds of “adulthood”. You now see everything for what it truly is and you don’t find it cheerful at all. Friendships come with appointments, family gatherings still tire you but because of all the faking that you have to do. And your parents are exhausted people who need you more than you need them.
The change
As unsettled and off course you feel, it is true that some of the best changes take root during this time. Growing up clears your perspective. It shapes your personality with every loss and transforms your ideologies with every new relationship. Growing up is a constant process of building and rebuilding one’s self, to say the least. This journey of outgrowing your younger naive self and her beliefs and embracing your older, more focused self is truly remarkable.
This is where you let go (growing apart)
Your journey, however, might not coincide with some of the closest people in your life. And that is the part where growth becomes difficult. Your best-friend you connected so well with or your cousin you shared your secrets with. The person you met and promised to love forever. You believed nothing in the world could change these bonds. Yet, it was you and your differing ideologies that came in the way. You sit back and try connecting the dots, blaming yourself for why you don’t feel the same connection anymore. Feeling sad too, because you still love them the same.
But the truth is simple. You don’t stay the same person throughout this life. And so the people and the energy you attract doesn’t stay the same either. You grow up and you grow apart. These people don’t add value to your life anymore and it is only okay to let them go. Here’s to letting go all those we’ve grown apart but also appreciating them for what they added to our lives.
