This isn’t the first time I am going through the ‘end of semester’ week. Yet for some reason I still haven’t gotten used to the feeling. An un-explainable dread surrounds me as I think about the pile of deadlines to meet and the coursework to complete. Caught up in the dilemma of pulling an all-nighter or waking up early to study, I sit down to make a to-do list, hoping it would give me some direction. As I jot down all the unfinished work that needs to be done, I am struck by a realization that leaves me off-guard.
Too Many Questions
It suddenly hits me how this is the LAST week of this semester and a series of questions accumulate my thoughts. Did I make enough memories this semester? Will I ever be able to meet my favourite teacher again? Have I told her how much I’ve enjoyed her classes? Did I attend enough events? Did I make any new friends? Or did I tell the old ones how much they’ve helped me survive this semester? And a million more.
The Days Gone by
As these questions grow louder in my head I feel a weird longing for the days gone by. I certainly am not romanticizing the stress or the undying fatigue that I felt during those days. But it’s a feeling that makes me miss the normal everyday routine on-campus.
From running to the canteen to grab coffee between classes, to making time for prayers – the prayer hall becoming a sanctuary on drawn-out days – meeting friends in hallways, the quest of finding empty spaces in the library, catching the shuttle back to the hostel or staying back on campus to detox in the football ground. Even though the semester, for me, was not an exciting one (quite the opposite) but as it comes to an end I am overtaken by a bittersweet feeling.
The hustle culture
The conventional university life and the burnout culture that comes with it often makes us loathe our semester. We are so caught-up in running after saving our grades and catching up with deadlines that we lose ourselves completely to the drill. We don’t stop to grasp the good moments that come along the way. For some reason, we end up paying attention to the moments that drained us more than the ones that kept us going. A quiz gone wrong keeps us up at night but a wholesome conversation with a friend on campus is brushed offed in an instance. You can read more about this hustle culture here.
In conclusion
While the end of semester is the toughest of times, we should not allow it to take away the best of times. And so, a million feelings swirl inside as I write down all the stuff to be done. Scared for what’s to come but grateful for all that I experienced in these four months; until I am back on campus to do it all over again.
